Testimony Tuesday

Each Tuesday a sister from our ward will share a part of her testimony. This may be part of her conversion (perhaps a story or principle that helped start or build her testimony), a specific gospel principle they've learned through the years, or a missionary experience. This is a way for us to connect with members of our relief society on a more spiritual basis. 

Jessy Cook wrote a letter to one of her visiting teachers when she first started coming back to church. She would like to share that same e-mail (with additions) with the other sisters of our Relief Society:

My name is Jessy Cook and I am one of your new visiting teachers!  I'm really excited to be a part of the visiting teaching program because it helps me to get to know the members of the ward... I only recently started coming back to church after being inactive for about 13 years.  It has been an AWESOME experience for me to come back and the more I get involved, the more I notice how much joy I've been missing in my life.  I have a husband and two little boys (so I'm out-numbered!) and love the friendships I've formed in Relief Society since coming back to church.

For me, coming back to church was all about timing.  I was born and raised in the church and even went to BYU, but was never the best example of living the Gospel.  While I was at BYU, through all of my trials and set-backs, I came to the conclusion that I would serve a mission to “make up” for all the bad I had done in my life.  Because that’s how it works, right?  Wrong.  Very wrong.  I got my mission call to Oslo, Norway and spent 2 weeks in the MTC learning Norwegian and the discussions.  I know it’s not like this for everyone, but I LOVED the MTC!  The Spirit was bouncing off the walls around me and I loved that!  There was no denying the truthfulness of the Gospel and the pure and simple message of Jesus Christ: To Come Unto Him.  To make a long part of this story short, I decided that I would do whatever it took to become WORTHY to serve the mission that I had been called on.  It was decided after much back and forth with church authorities that I should spend 4 months outside of the MTC repenting.  Fine.  I would do that.  I would do whatever it took, right?  4 months became 6 months.  6 months became a year.  After that, I’d had enough!  No more jerking me around.  I was done with trying to get back to the MTC.  The magical feeling I got while in the MTC was a distant memory at that point and I was lost to my old habits. My walls went up and I had officially become “offended” by the General Authorities for their judgment.   I never doubted the truthfulness of the Gospel… I simply COULDN’T do it.  I became inactive and eventually returned to NY where I wouldn’t be around Mormons all the time and wouldn’t feel so guilty about the way I was living.

All of my family members (parents, 4 sisters, and 1 brother) are active members of the church.  They had a hard time with me being inactive at first, but always loved me and included me.  I let them know early on in my inactivity that I didn't want any pressure from them about going to church.  I had my reasons why I didn't want to go anymore and I didn't want to feel pressure from them.  Fast-forward 13 years, (having been married, one little boy in the house and another on the way) and the sister missionaries knocked on my door!  They were so sweet.  I know if it would have been any other missionaries, I probably wouldn't have answered the door.  They were blown away when I told them that I was already a member of the church!  I wasn't on the ward records.  They asked if they could set up a time to come visit me with a message which I agreed to and then they also invited me to come to church.   The main feeling I got from them was love... and they told me that they could feel the deep love my Heavenly Father still had for me.  This was a shocker... that Heavenly Father STILL loved me after being so far away from the church for so long.  I've clung to that feeling of love I got when I first opened my doors to the missionaries ever since and have been going strong ever since!  I'm totally hooked on the feeling I get from the good news of the Gospel.

The road back was painful, but the joy and peace of the Atonement was worth 100xs the pain.  It is an indescribable feeling to truly experience the miracle of forgiveness.

So that's my story in a nut shell.  :-)  I might not be the typical Mormon, but I love this Gospel and am so grateful for all that it has done for me over the past 8 and a half months.

With love and gratitude,

Jessy

The sisters of the ward are my anchor.  Your love and strength keeps me grounded in the Gospel and I am so thankful for ALL OF YOU.  Each and every one of you.  Please know that I love you and appreciate YOUR stories.  We are all so different and I LOVE that about this ward!